We are not Robots!

By: Reshelle Manatad

WE ARE NOT ROBOT!!!!! Homework was a leading cause of stress, with 24 percent of parents saying it’s an issue. “I tried acting, liked it, and stuck with it. I saw it as the way I would keep that promise to myself of getting back at those who had made my school life a misery”. Teenagers say they’re suffering, too. A survey by the American Psychological Association found that nearly half of all teens — 45 percent — said they were stressed by school pressures.

CHRONIC STRESS can cause a sense of panic and paralysis, Alvord says. The child feels stuck, which only adds to the feeling of stress. Stress is often described as a feeling of being overwhelmed, worried or run-down. Stress can affect people of all ages, genders and circumstances and can lead to both physical and psychological health issues. By definition, stress is any uncomfortable “emotional experience accompanied by predictable biochemical, physiological and behavioral changes.”1 Some stress can be beneficial at times, producing a boost that provides the drive and energy to help people get through situations like exams or work deadlines. However, an extreme amount of stress can have health consequences and adversely affect the immune, cardiovascular, neuroendocrine and central nervous systems.2 Parents can help put the child’s distress in perspective, particularly when they get into what Alvord calls catastrophic “what if” thinking: “What if I get a bad grade, then what if that means I fail the course, then I’ll never get into college.” Then move beyond talking and do something about it.

The pressures of high school can be extra stressful for kids with learning and attention issues.A history of struggles and setbacks can increase their worries and anxiety. Here are common reasons for high school stress —and how to help. Fear of Failure Kids who’ve struggled in school for many years often come to high school with a history of setbacks. Past failures can make the demands of high school feel even greater. What you can do: Remind your child about his strengths and about the strides he’s already made. Talk about resilience and his ability to use past failures to actually move forward. Get an expert’s advice on how to overcome failure in school

Explore tips to help him cope with test anxiety. Tougher Academics and More Responsibilities The academic demands increase with every year of high school. Even if kids have made great strides in middle school, they know the work will get more challenging. At the same time, they’re increasingly expected to self-advocate for what they need. What you can do: Remind your child of the supports he has—both at school and at home. Encourage him to reach out to teachers for help. If he has an IEP, he can reach out to his IEP case manager too, and even ask about having self-advocacy goals included in his IEP. You may want to look into tutoring options. You can also Help him find the right mix of classes and activities. Work with him to develop strong study habits and learn to slow down on homework. Social Pressures Social situations can also be a source of stress for teens. They can feel pressure to fit in, to be popular and to have a lot of friends—whether these are real friends or not. And as teens become more independent, they may find themselves in new and possibly risky situations where they need to make tough choices. What you can do: Read about dating hurdles your child may face, along with common issues at parties. Role-playing can help. You can also: • Find ways to help him handle school cliques.

Get tips from experts on when to let teens face the consequences of their actions. Uncertainty About the Future In high school, kids have to start thinking about what kind of career they want to pursue. They also have to choose a path: college, work, vocational training. If your child has an IEP, he’ll go through a formal process to plan that transition. But that alone may not lessen the stress. What you can do: Assure your child that feeling unsure or worried about the future is normal. Remind him that there are many ways for him to find success and happiness in life. You can also Talk about different paths kids can take after high school and career options—including careers for kids who don’t want to sit at a desk. Encourage your child to watch the documentary Being You. It’s about three young people with learning and attention issues who travel around the country to explore what the future may hold for them. You can even watch it together and have a conversation using the Being You discussion guide. Concerns About College Just thinking about college can be stressful for kids with learning and attention issues. But the process of getting there can create specific stressors. These include college entrance exams, filling out applications and choosing a school. What you can do: Talk about types of colleges and how they differ. If he’s eligible, let him know that you’ll work with his case manager to get him college testing accommodations, and that you’ll help him find colleges that are a good fit. You can also Give him a sense of control by discussing which might be better for him.

Explain to him why it’s important that he take the lead in choosing a college, and share realistic tips to help guide his choice. It’s natural for kids with learning and attention issues to feel stress about high school. But ongoing stress can build and sometimes may lead to mental health issues. Know the signs of anxiety and depression. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your child’s doctor if you have concerns. Keep in mind that stress isn’t always bad. Learn about the difference between good stress and bad stress for kids with learning and attention issues. No matter what you do, no matter how many times you screw up and think to yours “there’s no point to carry on”, no matter how many people tell you that you can’t do it – keep going. Don’t quit. Don’t quit, because a month from now you will be that much closer to your goal than you are now. Yesterday you said tomorrow. Make today count.